One Year

I don't know. Between You and me, I think life's a gamble in a way. You know it all, yet we must guess, making choices in hopes that Your will follows. Rich Mullins was right -- truly You play hard to get. You play hard to get while I sit here trying to find the crumbs of my daily bread, trying to live off of crumbs while you exist in the back room. Always hard to get.

The back room? Or right here in front of me?

My life, my choices? Your possession, Your control? Where am I going? You know I'm going to roll the dice regardless. I'm getting ready to roll the dice -- 2010 is going to be the year. Let's place a bet.

A bet with the Keeper of my soul...long ago I would never have expected us to talk so closely.
Here's my stake: one year from now and my life will be better than it is today.

I feel confident of Your response (though who can understand You?): You can flip the world upside down in a year from now. She could have destroyed me in a year from now (but only if I am weak enough). I could have attended plenty of funerals in a year from now -- including my own. My choices, the choices I am making now, I feel are a gamble, a hope that they align with what You want. You already know that.

One year. Things will be different.